Dear Kordite: A Klingon Advise Column

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Not written in the stars.

A human associate of mine has the strange habbit of falling for every "New Age" idea that she comes across. Even when these so-called new ideas are centuries old and have no foundation in reality. And, what's worse than that, she insists on trying to convert everyone to her way of thinking. She takes me as as a particular challenge in that reguard.

So, she came at me one evening, spouting all the wonders of her latest obsession: Palmestry. The idea is that your life, your personality and your future are written in the lines on the palms of your hands. She had books and tables and a PADD database assistant and harassed me in her typical tera'ngan sing-song whine until I relented and showed her my hand.

This is the personality profile she came up with:

At times you tend to be overly sensitive to criticism. You can be excessively violent and narrow in your outlook unless you receive the right amount of subservience.

You have so many enemies you have trouble deciding which ones to eliminate first.

Your personaliy is dynamic and frightening to most people. The more branches you find in your heart line, the more lackeys and minions you will have. Your capriciousness and utter disregard to the concerns of others make people fear you even more.

There are inconsistancies in your energy level, possibly triggered by having to deal with pinheads or your having multiple personalities.

At certain times in your life, you may have romantic conflicts and difficulties maintaining friendships. These problems are likely to end in tragic accidents.

You have a strong constitution and should be difficult to kill.

There is a strong intuitive side to your nature, which may border on psychotic or maniacal.

She is convinced of the reading's accuracy, in spite of the difficulties caused by several scars cutting across the lines, but this drivel is so full of generalities that it could apply to almost anyone. Another waste of a perfectly good evening.

Now she's talking about something called phrenology.

[signed Kordite]

[home] [table of contents] [previous article] [next article] -- Revised: 18 May 2002
Copyright © 2001, 2002 Kevin A. Geiselman